2010 BEST PORTRAITS

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For my 2nd set of best photos, I'd like to show you my best portraits (classic and photojournalistic) for this year.

I became more interested in people this year due to this newly found passion. Before I thought I was the worst when it came to portraiture but it turns out I'm that bad at all. It seems I've somehow developed my own style. Not sure if I'm good with the classic posed portraits or the candids. Honestly speaking, both styles have different impacts on me.

 Classic Portraits -at 1st I though I suck at this big time! But with thorough practice, imagination and genuine interest in people, I believe I have improved a lot. It really pays to persevere. A portrait for me is more than just a pretty face or a smile....it's mainly about 2 important factors... the subject and the photographer.

Subject: the success of a portraits lies on the relationship of the model to his/her photographer. The better rapport you have, the more relaxed and natural it'll look. My aim is always to bring out each person's character, innermost desires/thoughts and experiences as written in their faces. Portraits are very private I believe..for me, I feel that my subjects have this certain level of trust in me for allowing me to take a glimpse of their soul. It's not all about the colors or what the eyes can perceive... it's way way beyond that... I think this is what makes it sooo fascinating.

I believe this is one of my 1st good portraits of Krissy. I wanted to bring out her "kikay" personality

 I'm very proud of this photo.. it looks so glam! Sophisticated look achieved. Our photos from this pictorial enabled her to enter the finals for this shampoo contest. So so proud of my work!

 I like the colors and the editing of this one... looks magical! She looks like a goddess

 I love the spontaneity of this shot.  I find it very funny. It sure brings back memories from our visit to the zoo. She was so terrified with our feathered friend.

 This photo is truly a winner! This is very special because this was my 1st attempt to ever join a photo contest.. and it won 1st place! I remember how I felt that day... it motivated me a lot to better my craft.

 A raw photo from my 1st portrait class with sir Nicolay. I never bothered editing it coz it's perfect as it is...

 A very playful photo of Buchak... I'm very good with kids but so far, this is my only formal shoot with a child. I hope to have more next year.

A glam pose from Krissy during our fun shoot at circle. I think is photo looks very fresh.

Photojournalistic - Honestly speaking, I feel more fulfilled with candids due to its honesty. Nothing beats true emotions and it takes a skilled eye and finger to click that shutter at the right time. I love the fact that they were not aware when I took them... this is what you get from following your instincts... a photo which shows a person's innermost feelings and desires... The following photos are very meaningful to me...

 natural....

 what a day for a daydream....

hopeful...

support....

A very emotional shot taken at a very solemn moment...

 A photo of mom from one of our lunch dates... both of us are tea drinkers. It was a fine afternoon and I'm glad to have spent it with her.

 My contemporary in photography and one of my favorite portrait photographers Frank.. I think this is a classic one since it's rare to capture him with a serious face. Leaves me often wondering what was going on his mind during this time.. hmmmm

 I took this one by accident.... I wanted to get some really raw emotions during this time (La Salle Bombing).

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 A candid photo of the playful princess Buchak

 I felt how the person she's waiting for mattered to her life a lot.

 A proud  loving father waiting for his child to finish the Bar exam. I can feel how he worked so hard to send his kid to school.. Nothing beats the love and sacrifice a parent gives for the future of his children.

 Though they are looking, I consider this still candid because I took this really quick. They were just so happy to be safe from harm after the commotion.

I feel very happy to see my friend fulfilling his dream. So full of potential. I believe he's a more talented photographer than I am because this is what he really wanted for a long time. He was the one who influenced me to try photography.

I hope to capture more and more emotions and precious moments.... I feel so blessed to have this gift in me. I feel very thankful that I'm able to share my talents to the world.

I wonder what my 2011 photos will look like....

Gourmae Day

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And because it has been a gluttonous weekend, today I've decided to go healthy again before the year ends.
A lot of my friends have been telling me that I gained some weight again. I don't really mind having the extra pounds but I'm determined not maintain and watch my weight to keep it normal.
It's gonna be another No Rice week so today I went to the grocery to pick up some stuff and prepare something very special yet very healthy as sort of "bawi" from my failed Christmas feast plan.

I've decided to prepare some chicken meat and place it in the ref so I can conveniently grab a portion each meal. I find it more cheap as well instead of paying a high price for just a small portion.

I also bought some prepared vegetable salad plus some additional garnishes and fruits to bring in the office. Also I bought some wholewheat bread to serve as my source of healthy carbo.

I remember buying a golden plate 2 years ago as a prop for my very 1st feature as Madam CEO. Good thing I was able to keep it in our office pantry. I guess today was the best day to use it to give my meal a gourmet touch. So here it is...... It only looks expensive but it's not. hehehe

I carefully arranged all of them on the plate and this is the finished product.....

A meal fit for a queen! I guess the only thing missing is a chilled glass of wine and it's gonna be divine!!!
 hihihihihihi!!!
I really feel happy when I prepare meals!!!! I'd like to cook more next year!!!

God's Letter for today...

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I regularly receive these letters through my email from the God Whispers Club by Bo Sanchez.
I'm not really a hardcore religious catholic but I do pray at church regularly. It keeps me focused and sane. I'd like to serve in a choir in our local parish if time permits so I can hear mass every Sunday again. I guess despite my busy lifestyle, I still aim to be  traditional.

Anyway, this is the note which I got today and I would like to share it with you...

Dear Mae,

Refuse to be bitter.  It's a poison that you don't want even a single drop in your life.  If someone has betrayed you, pity them and wish them the best.  You move on.

Your Encourager,
God

P.S. Forgiveness is one of the greatest things I've ever invented, Mae.  Use it often.

If you also wish to receive these uplifting letters, here's the link...

God Whispers Club

The Pursuit for Normalcy

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Phew!  As I end the 2010 Christmas weekend, I'd like to write about some of the things which transpired.

Well. I didn't really have the "ideal" Christmas (reunions, parties, Xmas eve opening of gifts, bottomless booze etc). In fact, my Xmas eve was quite the opposite thanks to my ever unappreciative Mom. Please don't get me wrong, I love my mom so much, I just don't like it when she does her unnecessary dramas during special occasions and it takes a really huge amount of patience and understanding. I guess I just got used to it but honestly speaking, I'd prefer having a hassle free holiday. And since happiness is a choice, I did my best to be happy and I did. I came to realize that if not for the struggles which I felt, my weekend wouldn't be as insightful and special at all so I guess I would have to thank Mom again for making me realize the things which common people take for granted... and that is..... the importance of having a normal family.

I know, I know, this is soooo basic. Too basic that most of you take it for granted. It's true that you'll never see the value of something until it's gone. So this time, hopefully after revealing some facts about me, you'll somehow appreciate your own family more.

It's a looooooooong story! But ok, let's try to focus here.. Where do I begin?

I had very clear plans for this holiday. I just wanted it to be a nice one like last year.God knows how much I prepared for this but for some reason, Mom went overly emotional again over something so irrational. I tried my best to convince her that now is not the right time to be so emotional on things yet still, she allowed her foolish pride rule over her. Being the one who had more control, I managed to stay quiet when in the house to avoid any conflicts... but deep it my heart I felt like dying. Frustrated really....unappreciated as usual... I always end up that way with her. I always asked her what she wanted and provided most of the time to the best of my ability however, she would end up unsatisfied despite the fact that she was the one who chose it. Sometimes, I feel I don't wanna give anymore because I would just end up hearing her complain.

I was very hurt but there was nothing I could do, I do not have control over anyone... only myself. I find it so hurting and frustrating with the fact that I could not help my own mom. I wanted to go out... leave the house... go anywhere. That's what I usually did when I was young. When I reached maturity, I'd often escape from mom. I never wanted to hang-out with her because of the negative vibes and ideas she would feed my mind. Things like I was sick, I will die young, I will never marry and have a kid, that the world was about to end soon, that World War 3 was just around the corner etc... things you'd never hear from a normal mom.  All my life, I was made to believe that lie and it crippled me for so many years. But now, I'm an entirely different person so instead of escaping, I tend to confront things head on. So that night, I've decided to just stay and keep quiet. The truth is, the playful character which I normally show is the exact opposite when I'm at home. In fact, I rarely utter a word inside the house. hehehe

Anyway, instead of obsessing on the negative vibe... I tried to text Dad. Dad and I have a special relationship. I tell all my secrets to him and I often seek his advice for wisdom. He's really good in motivating me. I believe I got most of my brain cells from dad. I would never want any other father in the world. Good thing he would always reply. I told him what happened. He told me how he missed me and how sad he felt because he could not spend Christmas with me. He asked me when was the last time we shared Christmas together. He thought the last time was way back in 2003. But I said it was actually 1996..... 14 years =( I never really realized it. I couldn't even remember what we did but I'm pretty sure it was around that time. Honestly, I never remembered spending Christmas with Mom and Dad together. You see, I never had a normal family. I never experienced family outings. Never. I have tons of childhood photos but only of me. Only portraits of. Never a family portrait. When I told him it was 14 yrs ago since we last spent the holidays together, he said he felt so guilty for not being the father that he should be. He felt sorry for not being there during my growing years. Tears just rushed down my eyes, I couldn't help it. We both cried. I told him, I got used to it. I told him that I understand our situation, but once again, deep inside, it felt like dying.... like my heart was being stabbed over and over. All my life, I've struggled for normalcy... a simple life... to have a simple family like all the rest. Until now, this is still my ultimate goal. I pray that the universe would send me a person who would give and show me a normal life and  a loving home.

There are times when I wished I was never born and crazy as it may seem, I've thought of ending my own life a couple of times (still thinking of it til now) but here I am still...Not giving up. Proving myself to the people who have always pulled me down and swore that I would never make it.

These days, I've been thinking...is this the reason why I'm an artist?  Is this the reason why I always aim to create my own surreal world? The reason why I always daydream and never stop in creating things to hopefully make the world a better place?...is it because of the reality I'm living in? I've asked God countless times why He gave me this kind of life. What is really my purpose? Am I here just to inspire and entertain? Like a painting on display for people to stare at and criticize? Don't I have the right to live a normal life as well? All my life, I've felt so alone and no one seems to be there to defend and protect me. I may appear as a strong/intimidating woman as others would say, but deep inside me is this longing for security and protection. I believe I've somehow built this image... this wall, because I have to somehow protect myself from being insulted/disrespected by others again. Underneath this intimidating mask is but a little girl silently screaming for a home.

My life..... is still perfectly beautiful and full of color with all the experiences and lessons I've been collecting throughout the years.  I've managed to somehow draw strength from my own weaknesses and this is something which I'm proud of. I'm not a life expert, I'm not claiming to hold all the answers for the simple reason that I don't. I've managed to blindly go into the dark with knees shaking...but somehow able to go through it alive. I just wanna keep things real. I wanna be true to myself. No lies. I don't wanna lie to myself anymore. Success like happiness is a choice... but for me, there is only 1 option and that is to succeed. As what I've said earlier, I have no control over things except for myself. With Dad, I do hope he'd be man enough to do what he's supposed to do. Mom on the other hand needs to be treated with extra care. I love them both despite their opposing personalities. As for me, the goal is still the same. I will find a home I know and never will I go astray.

Mayo the Teacher

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A recent photo of me during my breaktime. 

In all my years of being a teacher, never have I written a single article about it so today I’d like to share something very personal … allow me to show you  a glimpse of my other side… my day job as a teacher.

I was never a whiz kid. Never the scholarly type of student. I even flunked kindergarten for crying out loud because I was too lazy and moody to go to school. I was an anti-social kid. Cried in class most of the time, occasionally destroyed my toys, messed with mom’s make-ups… I was the female counterpart of Dennis the Menace I believe so!  Being a teacher someday never crossed my mind.  Like most kids that time, I wanted to either be a doctor, a movie star or a lawyer, mainly because I wanted to defend myself and mom from the people who always gave us a hard time. 

I did not study education. I’m a Hotel and Restaurant Management graduate who realized I didn’t want  to make a living out of cooking for the simple reason that I just wanna share my well kept recipes only to my future family. Reserved in short! Hehehehe Aside from that, I don’t really like working on weekends… I value spending time with the people I love and pursuing my art… my passions in life. Music, cooking, sightseeing and now photography… these are some of the things which make my life very meaningful.

while talking to one of my students...

4 years ago, I became a teacher by accident… an online English teacher to be precise. Another proof how the universe works in mysterious ways…. I never dreamed of being a teacher but there I was… starting a teaching career. The 1^st 3 months were like hell! Felt like in a shithole…. I felt I wasn’t effective. But then I was determined to prove them wrong. I worked hard in building my confidence as well as coming-up with my own style.. and it was really simple.  SINCERITY.  When you know in your heart that you are sincere,  everything will flow easily, effortlessly. Every word you utter will all show genuine love, concern and sincerity….. and people will respond positively because they will feel you.  Yes, even with just hearing your voice and no matter the distance.  It has no boundaries.

It may not be obvious to many but I’m very much in-love with my work and the people I work with. I enjoy talking to my students every single day and never tire of asking them about their lives. I’ve handled students from all levels, ages and walks of life.  From a struggling office worker to a multinational company director, from an adult low-beginner to an advanced grade schooler… name it, you got it! Boy am I patient! Good thing I have a well controlled temper hehehe 

given by my student YuJin after one of our classes

I have my set of regular re-enrollees (fansclub) who have been with me for years. Some of them may have a break for a couple of months but they always come back.  I appreciate their loyalty. I know there are far better and smarter teachers out there but they say the reason why they keep coming back is because they feel my concern and sincerity and they love the feeling I leave them after each class. There is an art to it… the art of listening and giving advice. They often claim to feel happier and less stressed after each class with me. On a typical day, I’d call my students after office hours to practice English with them. I become their confidant in times of despair and cheer them up. They consult me with their personal problems. Teenagers on the other hand would often tell me about their juvenile issues about school, self esteem and relationships… After giving them sisterly advice, it feels so great to hear them sounding relieved and laughing again. With my junior students (i'm crazy about them!), they all say they love hearing my funny and interesting stories… I fall in-love with them every single day. To them I am the best teacher! The weird thing is that, I haven't personally met 95% of them and never have seen their pictures as well. I also had my share of times wherein I cried really hard during farewells. Each of them is special and hold a dear place in my heart. 

a recognition from our company a few months ago...

 You see, it’s not all about the lessons but more on the relationships which we build… how we touch lives. This is how I make a difference on a daily basis… my contribution to humanity, my legacy.

I touch lives on a daily basis…. This is what fulfills me deep inside. The thought that my words matter and actually affect people have a huge impact in me. I believe in connections, building meaningful connections which crosses borders and goes beyond time.

A Series of Best Photos

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I've just posted my best Food Photos for 2010 on my main blog.
It took almost 30mins to enhance the colors a bit.
It's almost 3am huhuhu I need to rest! Choosing the photos were really challenging but I'm happy 'coz it means I was able to take really good food shots! I'm very very proud of my progress.

At first, I thought I was only good with food but with a little push and lots of guts, I was able to explore more subjects that led me to improve.
I have tons of food photos but for me these are the best..

Here's the link ....
2010 BEST FOOD PHOTOS

I'd like to thank the people I've shared these great times with which made these photos even more memorable...

Badeth,Frank, Mitch, Kristel, Mich, Greg, LA and my Mom!

enjoy!!

PS: I'm starting to really like having a separate blog exclusively for my thoughts.... like a Director's cut thing. hihihi

2010 BEST FOOD PHOTOS

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It has been a great year for me! Photography has been my main source of artistic satisfaction this year and for sure my December won't be complete without featuring my best photos for this year.

The original plan was to pick my top 12 photos for 2010. 1 best photo per month. The criteria would include not just about the photo's X-factor but more on its relevance/impact which it made in my life.

When I opened all my folders, I realized it's not gonna be as easy at all! I found thousands of raw as well as edited ones...So many categories, events, happenings that it's way tooo hard to pick the best ones!!
I still plan to pick my final top 12 but before that, I'd like to feature my best works per category.

Let us start with my BEST FOOD PHOTOS for this year........

The fresh produce and the famous Lucban Longanisa from the Pahiyas Festival

The pasta and fish fillet at the Old Spaghetti House..

The homemade onion buns and burgers plus the baby cakes at Mrs. Howard's...

My shots from a food photo session in Manila...

 

The dreamy Chocolate Mint Cupcakes....

The insanely perfect pastas from the Aveneto Ristorante...

The "pulutans" at the Congo Grille...

The heavenly dimsums of Le Ching...

The sinful desserts of Parvati...

The simple comfort food of Cafe Mary Grace...

The mouthwatering Almond Roca Cheesecake from Starbucks Coffee...

The satisfying Fish Fillet from the Cafe City..

The refreshing Baker's Hat combo Yogurt dessert from the White Hat....

I hope you enjoyed these sinful delights! Which one is your favorite?
Watch out for my next set of top photos for 2010.....