Tuesday, March 29, 2011

In Need of a Hug..

I'd like to believe that I'm ok...(my mind at least) but my frail body seems not to be in shape.
still looking fab despite being ill
my maintenance m
I have been suffering from continuous palpitations for 3 days now. I must admit, I've been keeping
a lot of problems in my head for the past weeks. I prefer not to delve into them to avoid further stress.
I'd like to be optimistic yet realistic still. All I can say for now is that, being alone can be really tough...
Being an only child is a challenging task but I really don't wanna complain.

I believe I worry too much. That's my problem.

I have this condition which is called Mitral Valve Prolapse. It's not a disease... it's a condition~~~ meaning,
I had it with me since birth but it was only detected when I was 18 after suffering from severe depression.
I don't really know how fatal this is but some say that this can be a traitor.. like anytime, my heart can shutdown
and that's it! over! Scary right? This is probably one of the reasons why I always try to live my life to the fullest.
I always live my day as if it were my last.

Last night, I had difficulty while on my way home. My chest felt
very heavy the whole day. I felt I was drowning and dizzy. Fortunately, I didn't faint. I did my best not
to collapse. My bf used to pick me up from work but of course, I'm on my
own now (and didn't even thought of calling him to rescue me).
I now commute to and from my office. I bravely roam the streets at night. I must admit, I used to be very needy. I often demanded attention from him and depended on him to always look after me. I was so immature then.
Now, no matter how difficult my situation is, I do my best not to complain about it. I'd like to endure it as much as possible.
I'm a very responsible person. I wanna stay strong and overcome  these hurdles. I'm hopeful that all my plans would materialize.
I have soo many projects in-line and I can't wait to finish all of them.

I know that these trials are here to help me become stronger... to eventually prepare me for more responsibilities and
more blessings.

I'd like to stay focused and positive about things though I feel very alone.. yes I do. I know I have to get used to it.
I realized that I don't wanna be a typical "needy" girl anymore. I'd like to see myself as a person who can stand alone.
I don't wanna depend on others. I don't wanna be just any other girl that men take for granted.I'm too precious to be left behind. For now, I wanna have a less complicated life and I choose to be more mature on things.

My mom is not aware on my situation because I don't want her to worry much about me. I want her to be happy.
I wanna provide for her more. Please don't tell her in case you see her.

Furthermore, our company just moved into a new office building yesterday so I felt so stressed out with all the clutter and
the things which I needed to arrange. I don't really feel comfortable with my new small station. I have to adjust fast.

For now, though I can't really rest until the holy week vacation (still no plans) I will do my best to lessen my woes. I wanna keep on going and keep on smiling 'coz I have no choice. I badly need a vacation!!!
It's time to grow up!

Oh, I'd like to thank the people who texted and called me last night. Thank you for the concern. I really appreciate it!
Thank You for your prayers. I guess for now, I just need a really warm healing hug and some time to talk. I believe this would
help me a lot to recover fast. As I'm writing this entry, I'm still not feeling ok. My maintenance meds are just
starting to take effect. I know it's still not the time to die. No! No dying for now! I got so many reasons to live. I just started living actually!! I still have a long way to go! Please pray for my speedy recovery.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Heto Nanaman....

Para kong tanga!!
Umiiyak ako!
May narinig kse kong kanta kanina... yung kinakanta ni manong bulag dun sa Edsa Shrine overpass.
Ang galing kse ni Manong kumanta! Kinanta nya yung "I'll Take Care of You" ni Ronnie Milsap.





Ang tagal tagal ko ng hindi to naririnig kaya tatandaan ko to para sa next videoke session if ever (hihii)

Isa pa sa rason kung bakit ako naiyak ay dahil kinanta yun ni Manong Bulag sa asawa nyang nasa tabi nya... na nagsisilbi ding alalay nya tuwing nanlilimos. Araw araw ko sila nakikita sa overpass. Napahanga ako. =) Hindi sila nag-iiwanan sa kabila ng kalagayan nila. Ang sweeeeeeet! Nakaka-antig damdamin! Di ko napigilan ang pagdaloy ng mga luha.....

Call me senti.. emo... ako na!
Pero ang ganda kse ng lyrics e.
Kailan kaya ko kakantahan ng ganun? Ayokong maging masyadong kritikal...
strong nga ko e... alam kong sakin nakasalalay ang kasiyahan ko. Pero syempre,
tao parin akong naghahanap ng konting atensyon... konting lambing. Hindi naman sa "needy" ako masyado pero deserve ko naman yun at sobrang tagal ko ng hindi yun nararamdaman. Minsan parang gusto ko na isara nalang ang puso ko to spare myself from pain kso ang korny naman nun... mabuti pang mamatay nalang. Ayokong maging manhid...walang saysay ang buhay kung magiging manhid. Sa ngayon, ayoko talaga muna isipin pero madalas ay may isang taong sumasagi sa isip ko. Ahahaha  Pero teka, ibang usapan yun! Basta ang masasabi ko lang, wala akong masabi! nyahahaha anlabo!!!

Hindi biro ang mga pinagdaanan ko so I believe unfair na tinatawag-tawag akong emo. Ganun naman ang mga tao e.. napakadali nilang magsalita.... kung sino pa yung mga wala namang kinalaman sa buhay mo, yun pa yung maraming sinasabi. Meron dyan, sinasabihan ako ng mahina kse wala parin daw akong bf. Kesyo ang tanda ko na daw, napag-iwanan na ko ng panahon... Tuwang-tuwa silang sabihan ako ng ganun. Buti hindi naman ako napipikon. Hindi naman ako makitid na tao. So what kung wala kong bf? Mas ok naman maging single keysa naman may bf nga ko, babaero naman! OMG tama na!!
Mataas ba masyado ang standards ko? O baka sila ang masyadong mababa ang standards!?? hehehehe Basta ko, steady lang muna... no pressure! At hello? Ang bata ko pa!!!  Pasalamat sila at mabait ako kse kundi, pinagtatampal ko na sila! hahaha

Kagabi noong inopen ko yung isa kong blog, nabasa ko ulit yung sulat ko para sa future baby ko. Naluha ako kse parang gusto ko sya sulatan ulit at ikwento ang mga nararamdaman ko ngayon. Naiyak ako kse natatakot ako na baka hindi ko sya makita. Hindi ko sya mayakap.. hindi ko maturuang magbasa, magluto, kumanta etc.Paano nalang kundi nga?  Ang hirap kapag lahat ng tao, sinasabihan kang hindi ka magtatagumpay... na hindi mo makakamit ang mga mithiin mo...at sa kabila nito, kaibigan ko daw sila (wow!!)

Magiging hopeful parin ako!

"I'll take care of you. Don't be sad, don't be blue." ~~~ ang sarap pakinggan ng mga katagang ito. Mas matindi pa sa I love you! The thought na may isang taong nag-aassure syo na hindi ka mag-iisa....yung laging magiging nasa tabi mo kahit anong mangyari, lalo na sa mga araw na hindi ka na maganda't mabango. Yung laging may hahawak ng kamay mo kahit magaspang na ito... yung may karamay ka sa pag-iyak at kasiyahan. Yung may magpapatawa syo tuwing may sumpong ka. hehehe Alam ko naman na hindi lang sa mga halik at yakap nasusukat ang pagmamahal...

Basta pagdating ng araw.... ng tamang oras... sasabihin ko din ang mga katagang ito sa taong karapat-dapat
magmay-ari ng buong pagkatao ko... paulit-ulit ko itong sasambitin.....malayo man ako sa kanya....ipakiki-usap ko kay Haring Habagat na ibulong yon lagi sa kanya... na magiging puro at wagas ito.
Na kahit lumuha man nang paulit-ulit....  sya parin ang hahanap-hanapin ko dahil sadya kaming ginawa para sa isa't-isa.

I always say what I mean, and mean what I say.....

Umiiral nanaman ang pagka-romantiko ko......

.... (hinga ng malalim Mae!!)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sana.....


.... Matuto ako kung pano ang maging sakim.... yung magdamot sa mga bagay na gustong gusto ko. Ang hindi muna i-share sa iba ang mga nalalaman ko. Ang sabihin sa taong gusto ko na, "Akin ka nalang!" hahahaha kung pwede nga lang sana e no? hihii


picture ko habang sinusulat itong entry..
.... ako naman ang alagaan...Ano kaya ang pakiramdam? Yung ako naman ang sinusuyo..... ako naman ang pinagbibigyan.... ako naman ang pinapasaya... ako naman ang sinosorpresa? Sana maranasan ko din yun =) Nakakatuwa siguro ang pakiramdam!

.... Magkapag-bakasyon ako kahit mga ilang araw lang. Walang internet, walang FB at walang cellphone!! Waaaahhh dream come true yun tyak!! Dadalhin ko lang si Maggie (camera) at kukunan ko lahat ng makikita ko tapos hindi ko iseshare ang mga pictures! BWAHAHAHHAH

..... maumpisahan na namin yung music video! Excited na ko makatrabaho ang mga kaibigan kong tulad ko at makasama ang mga kaibigang sumusuporta sakin! Ang swerte ko talaga. Alam kong narito ako sa dapat kong kalagyan. Ang daming nagrerequest sakin na magproduce ulit ng gig... phew isa isa lang muna!

..... makabili na ko ulit ng oven para makapagluto ulit ako ng bongga!! nyahahahah!! Namimiss ko na yung paggawa ko ng pizza from scratch at pagbake ng cake! Proud na proud sakin ang mommy ko kse ang sarap ko daw magluto! Yey! Yey! Ewan ko ba pero masayang masaya ako kapag nagluluto. Excited kse ko na ipatikim yung finished product!
No wonder napapangiti ko ang mga tumitikim kse punong-puno ng happy vibes!!

.... matuloy ko yung plano ko sa birthday ko ma magkaron ng Breakfast party! Gusto ko maghanda ng
breakfast buffet!! hihihi cute no? Kumpleto! May bacon, ham, eggs, yogurt, pancakes, cereal, fruits, croissant, baguettes... todo na!!! Pagtanda ko, gusto ko magkaron ng maliit na Cafe lounge at dun ko ihahanda ang mga specialty cakes ko. Pupunuin ko yun ng madaming pictures tungkol saking buhay.. mga libro at musika.Lalagyan ko yun ng photo studio na may madaming props kung saan pwede magphoto-shoot ang mga customers ko. Isang lugar na ideal para makapagrelax at makapag-isip at makagawa ng magagandang memories ... wala pa kong nakikitang ganun dito!

.... madami pa kong maturuang mga bagets! Patok na patok talaga ang beauty ko sa mga bata! Trip na trip nila ako! Tinatawanan ako ng mga baby na nakikita ko at hind ko alam kung baket! hahahah Aliw na aliw siguro sila sa mukha ko! ahahah Hindi naman ako exposed sa mga bata noong maliit pa ko. Solong anak kse ako. Pero lately, napapansin ako, click na click ako sa kanila. Napapasaya ako ng mga students kong bata. Tawa sila ng tawa tuwing klase namin. Yung isang paborito ko, si Rey na 12 yrs old na dati may phobia sa English, ngayon ay gustong gusto na! Ayaw nga umabsent e at aktibong aktibo sa klase. Kung tutuusin, sya ang pinakahindi marunong magsalita sa lahat pero special sya kse saken talaga sya natuto. Lagi ko kse sya pinupuri kapag tama ang mga sagot nya! Iba talaga ang naidudulot ng appreciation at praise. Nakakaboost ng morale.

.... mabili ko yung coat na trip na trip ko talaga!! hay ang ganda ganda! Kahit mainit, paninindigan ko talaga suotin yun! At aqua-blue bikini na trip na trip ko!! ahahaha Kso wala pa kong extra moolah! Hay buhay! I'm sooo poor! Kelangan ko talaga rumaket pa!!

... sana sipagin na kong magpapayat! Hindi naman ako super taba, chubby lang...lagi kse ko nakaupo tapos kain pa ng kain kaya eto ang hirap magpaliit ng tyan! ahahaha minsan nga naisip ko... naku pano pa yan kung sumexy ako? edi perfect na perfect na?? Maganda, talentado, matalino, masarap magluto tapos sexy pa! OMG!!! hahahaha


.... humaba pa ang buhok ko! Kso hindi naman kse ko mahilig mag-ayos ng buhok. Gusto ko lang nakapusod o naka pony. Tamang tama kse super init kaya masarap lang itaas ang buhok. Feel na feel ko

na girl ako sa ganito. Super panget ng hair no noon... as in super kulot withough effort! Ikaw ba naman ang hindi magsuklay araw araw e! hahahhaah Pero ngayon happy ako sa wavy hair ko.. hindi ko trip magparebond kse ayokong maging mala-alambre sa tigas ang hair ko! ahihihihih eewww!!



to be continued.....

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Minsan....

... gustong kong maglaho. Mawala. Kalimutan ang mga obligasyon at isipin lang ang aking sarili. Magsusulat ako nang masusulat. Ilalathala ko lahat ng aking nararamdaman, opinyon at mga konsepto. Ganito lang talaga ako at konti lang ang may alam at nakakaintindi nito.





... sa sobrang dami kong naiisip na kung anu-ano, minsan naiinis na din ako sa sarili ko. Nawiweirdohan na din ako. Alam ko hindi naman ako henyo, pero tanggap ko ang sarili ko bilang abnormal... at least hindi sub-normal!
Mabuti nalang pinatatyagaan ako ng mga kaibigan ko. hihihihi Napapasaya ko din sila marahil.

.... naiinis ako sa mga babae!
Sa mga babaeng saksakan ng insecure! Ang dami dami kong nakikita dyan... mga babaeng super gaganda, makikinis, tisay... pero dahil nga sa pagiging kapit-tuko, walang kumpyansa sa sarili at masyadong "needy," nilalayasan sila ng mga kasintahan nila. Kahit siguro ako kung naging lalaki ako, ayoko din ng ganun e. Yun lang naman ang ugat kung baket may mga selosa, mala koala sa pagka-clingy at madrama...insecurity. Nagseselos sa iba kse insecure sa kung anong wala sa kanya. Clingy dahil ayaw maagawan dahil insecure. Madrama dahil feeling nya laging di sya karapat-dapat....dahil nga insecure. Hay!!! ewan ko ba! Sana mejo alalay naman! Yung tamang levels lang. Ayus din naman yung me konting selos at drama pero wag naman yung OA. Saken, imbis na magselos at magdrama ko, aayusin ko nalang ang sarili ko para ipakita sa iba kung gano ako kahalaga.

.....gusto kong magbabad sa kusina at magcooking marathon! Walang biro! Mag-iinvite ako ng mga kaibigan at bubusugin ko sila na parang mga patabaing baboy hanggang sumuko ang mga panga nila kakakain! hahahha!!

.... gusto ko ng magka-anak. Totoo pala yung maternal instinct kapag 30 ka na. Gusto ko magpalaki ng sanggol saking sinapupunan. Gusto kong mapuyat ng may dahilan, Gusto kong mapagod ng may kabuluhan. Gusto kong ipamana ang mga kaalaman ko sa isang taong kakabit ng aking buhay. Hindi ako nagmamadali. Hinihintay ko pa ang lalaking makakasabay ko sa pangangarap. Dalangin ko yun sa twina -- na ang di mahuli ang lahat para samin..san man sya naroon.


....naiisip ko baket hindi pa ko mayaman. Baket hindi sapat ang sweldo ko? Baket hindi sinlaki ng kita ng iba ang kinikita ko? Marahil isa ito sa dapat kong pagtutunan ng pansin. Ang kung paano pa kumita ng pera para mabili ko yung mga bagay na alam kong makakatulong saking sining. Para mas mapasaya ko ang pamilya ko. Para makapag-aral ako muli ng pangalawang kurso!

... gusto ko ng sumuko at magpakalunod sa mga problema. Mahirap mag-isa. Pero alam kong di ako matututo kung lagi nalang ako aasa sa iba. Kailangan kong tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa. Ayoko pa sumuko hindi dahil sa takot ako o dahil sa alam kong may hangganan din ang lahat ng ito pero.... ang totoo... gusto ko pa matuto. Madami pa kong dapat matutunan sa buhay. Proud ako sa taglay kong sipag at tyaga. Ngayon, mas gusto kong paghirapan ang mga gusto kong makuha para mas doble ang tagumpay!!


..... pakiramdam ko, hinuhubog ako ngayon ng panahon. Hinuhubog para lalong tumibay. Binuburo para lalong tumagal at mahinog. Hirap ako ngayon aaminin ko pero dahil dito, lalo kong napapahalagahan ang mga bagay na nasa paligid ko.. pati mga taong kabilang sa mundo ko. Pakiramdam ko mas buhay ako ngayon!

... pakiramdam ko ang araw at ang buwan ay nagsasalitang magbigay liwanag para sakin..  Ang mga bituin, sadyang nagpapakita sa kalangitan upang masilayan ako. Ang mga ulap... pabago-bago ng anyo upang sila'y aking ngitian. Alam kong hindi ako santo (laitera ako at suplada minsan) ngunit alam kong mabait ako... madalas pa nga sobra. Gusto ko lang maging totoo sa sarili. Wala akong nililihim dahil ayokong magsinungaling kahit kanino lalo na saking sarili. Alam kong hindi ako tunay na kaibigan kung magsisinungaling ako sa kanila. Hindi yun kaya ng aking kunsensya. Mahalaga ako... mahalaga sakin ang may malinis na pangalan at reputasyon.


Alam kong wala sakin ang lahat. Madami pa akong gustong makamit at maranasan. Tyaga lang at panahon ang kailangan ko.  Gusto ko pa mabuhay nang matagal.
Gusto ko pa matuto,
gusto ko pa magpakasaya..

magpasaya.....

....magmahal!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mayo Got Krissyfied.....

am I blooming or what?
I love making people feel special. I don't possess a lot of material things...but I do opt to get the things which I know will make me grow.
1st shoot with Krissy

I value connections rather than collections. I may not have all the things that money can buy but I am proud to say that I do have the best group of pals which one could ever have. They are my earth angels, my pillars of strength. Due to the happiness and love which they fill me with, I made a vow to myself to always be there for them and support them. This week, I'd like to feature another good friend of mine. A fellow blogger and my one and only kikay friend Krissy!

To give you a little background, Kristel a.k.a. Krissy was introduced to me by guess who? hehehehe Uncle Frank again! yey! You see, after Frank and I got in-touch again last year, my network of friends started multiplying! Frank is indeed fortunate to have lots of great people around him, I'm also happy that I got to know most of them. I heard that long before Krissy and I met, Frank has already mentioned me and my blog to her. He knew perhaps that we'd click due to our very talkative nature. Our first bonding if I'm not mistaken was when I visited her place with then roommate Mami Sha in Roosevelt, QC. I just started learning on how to use my camera that time. She's actually my 1st model right after my Portraits 101 class with Sir Nicolay. Our 1st informal shoot was very casual yet pleasant. I got the chance to get to know her and build a photographer-model rapport. I'm glad she liked my shots. A few months after that, we finally scheduled our 1st formal shoot at UP Diliman along with Watcher Concepcion then after a few months again, scheduled another shoot this time with Frank at the Quezon Memorial Circle.
during our 1st formal shoot at UP

me teaching Krissy to look fierce!! Grroowwll!!
i love this very candid shot

As time went by, this photographer/model relationship bloomed into a very beautiful friendship. Aside from photo shoots, she'd sometimes invite me to her blog events. I don't really read other blogs (too lazy) but I really enjoy reading hers! I also got the chance to meet lots of beautiful people because of her! You see, Krissy and I are very different in many ways. We have different tastes in fashion, food, music etc yet still, she's one of the top girlfriends on my list perhaps because when we talk, we can relate to each other very well. Furthermore, I believe we have a lot of respect for one another. With her, like my other girlfriends, I can talk sense. She knows how to listen and gives wise insights on the topics which we discuss. I will never forget the time when we both cried while inside the bus during one of our girl talks. ("iyakan sa bus") =) 
at the Candy Fair!
Sugar overload with the girls..
hanging around in her pad
A couple of weeks ago, I was then again visited by good old misery. I thought I was gonna lose it! I knew I needed help and she suddenly crossed my mind for I knew she would understand. I contacted her and luckily, she was about to watch a movie with her other girlfriends (Mich and Flex) and she invited me to join. Over dinner, I told her my grief. I was touched when I learned she hardly had any sleep, yet chose to listen to me that day. I really appreciate what she did. She made me feel I wasn't alone. I found a friend in her =)
life saver!!
Last weekend, I invited her to my favorite date place. I wanted to spend time with her because I heard she had a tough time again the other week. After her shift last Sunday, I took her to Cubao Expo. Bellini's is still #1 in my list due to its authentic feel, great ambiance and superb service! I believe this place is for special people so I really wanted to treat her here as expression of my gratitude and to celebrate our friendship! As soon as we entered, I requested the waiter to give us the best seat in the house!!!! Too bad they ran out of Sweet Wine AArrrggghh (every authentic Italian experience ain't complete without wine)!! We ordered pasta, pizza and a huge slice of the best god damn fudge cake I've ever tasted ( I didn't like the racist name though)! Also, my favorite waiter Randy gave us free shots of dessert wine on the house! Weeee (it really pays to have lots of acquaintances!)!! We had such a great time in experiencing those dishes together, taking photos and of course talking about life in general! The whole experience was splendid!


Ohhhh lala!!
havin' a great time!
authentic emotions..
The Seafood olo Scoglio tasted really nice!!
"ang Sarap!!"
Meet Randy, the headwaiter!
Randy gave us free dessert wine!! On the house!!
pinky up as always!!

It's really nice to have a circle of trusted friends to watch your back. Sometimes, I couldn't help but wonder why guys fail to see how valuable we are.... perhaps we are reserved for someone really deserving! Right now I believe we are in this stage of self-awareness or cultivation (as I'd like to call it). Like budding flowers with lots of space to grow... waiting to bloom.
shot during our photo session at the Quezon Memorial Circle
a perfect afternoon indeed!

Like any good friend, of course I would hate to see her cry... but in my case, I wouldn't mind seeing her grieve once in a while because I'd like her to  go through tough times and learn  life's lessons in order to grow. The only way to learn is to actually experience it! I believe we all have to learn things the hard way to enable us level-up and  be stronger. I know that there are yet tougher times and tears to shed but the thought of having people like her (as well as Mitch, Badeth, Frank etc) to catch you makes your existence more meaningful. =)

Thank You Krissy for being an earth angel to me! For listening, for sharing those tears, great conversations as well as for sharing your dreams and allowing me to catch a glimpse of your soul in the wonderful photos you've given me. I look forward in more great times with you! Thank You!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

What Your Heart Is Screaming For...


So which one really should you date? An illiterate? Educated? A bookworm or a writer perhaps? … the list goes on and on. With all the budding articles in response to the  I’m not sure whether famous or infamous article entitled ‘You Should Date an Illiterate Girl’ out there, each with their own set of reasons, presenting their respective hypothesis  on why you should date a girl who is more like who wrote that article… hmmm don’t you find it a little narcissistic?
In my case, it would be easy for me to write an article and convince you to date a girl like me. To start with,  I can tell you a hundred reasons why you should date me with all the extra things I can do and with my emotional maturity and sense of humor… so easy to market and sell myself if I wanted. I can practically date any guy if I wanted if only I was desperate.  I can vividly describe what it is like to be loved by me, how romantic and caring I can be, how ideal I am and how colorful your world would be to have me as your woman but no…. I choose not to write about these things. The reason?  Because I simply don’t want to force anyone to choose to love me just because I’m this or that.
When love hits you…. It just does. No questions, no reasons whatsoever. Beyond the background, school records, GPA average, IQ  rating, size, height , skin color and all other classifications .We simply cannot choose who we are gonna fall for. Most of the time you’d be surprised on why you can’t stop thinking of this person. Suddenly, you’re on a spell!
My advice… date the one whom your heart is screaming for. =) The one who makes your heart pound. The one who transforms your aura for reasons unfathomable. The one whom you “connect” with.  The one you wanna dream with, cry with and laugh with. The one whom you wanna kiss and passionately make  love with each night (sex is very important).  The one whom you share a chemistry with… - because this is a person who will make your existence whole.

 Be with the one whom you wanna grow with. The one you never wanna lie to. The one person who makes you glow.  The one whom you still accept despite the flaws and occasional shortcomings. The one who never fails to amuse you, leaves you wondering what she's gonna do next. I don't care whether she's outgoing or shy as long as you have a deep sense of mutual understanding.  Someone you feel connected with may it be in having long conversations or with just a simple nod and wink. A connection that is unexplainably perfect.
Falling in love is a gift. You’ll know it when it hits you. Lucky are those who find and nurture it. 
No matter how painful heartaches are… no matter how deep the damage is, may we all remain hopeful and think that each heart ache is not defeat but a learning experience and a sign that you are closer and closer to the one for you. I for one (being very idealistic) is still a firm believer of having a soul mate. I know in my heart that I will find my soulmate in this lifetime. I know that we promised to meet no matter how many lifetimes we will have. A promise that we will fall in love over and over again….
So my advice for you…. Go on and take the plunge! 
Fall in love! ….. this is what life is all about!

A Look At The Real Me....

... a compilation of some of my videos...
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