You'll never really know where destiny would lead you...As for me, I feel at awe whenever dear universe would show me another open door. I've learned that what I felt wasn't really love at all for love is supposed to free you, not leave you crying in chains. Had to make a mental decision again... this time, I had to acknowledge the pain and slowly detach myself totally. I realized that I have to really feel the pain and get through this fully ( no shortcuts) so when the storm has passed, I can wake up a complete person once more.
This pseudo love not only causes blindness but also freezes time.. hinders you from doing what has to be done. As for me, I know I'm no ordinary girl..I've long acknowledged who I am and the things which I'm capable of doing. I've yet to show the world my brilliant ideas! I am a demigod! ahahahaha
It is also true that one will never really know when love would suddenly come crashing at your door... like a thief in the night who'd steal your heart away and set your world on fire. Oh how wonderful it is to love and be loved.. I believe this is what we're born to do. I refuse to fall in-love again... for I choose to Fly in-love in my next journey. Just have to wait for a rightful co-pilot who's gonna be man enough to hold the helm so we could chart the destination and command where the winds should blow. *sigh* here I go again. shit!!
I just feel really grateful for being me. I may be overly sensitive at times due to my excessive estrogen levels but luckily I could still be rational most of the time. My experience with people from all walks of life made me develop this very broad understanding on things. Sometimes, how I wish to just be cold and stay unaffected to avoid being hurt but I realized that I am not the type of person who could endure being indifferent.. I guess this is what makes me extra special. Probably, I do attract pain 'coz at the back of my mind, I know that pain is the no.1 ingredient in becoming stronger.. the prerequisite of becoming free. I have to undergo fire in order to free me from the chains which bind me.
It feels soooo weird!! I feel like a different person the past days.. What the hell happened to the cheerful bubbly me? AAww shit I'm so not liking it that's why I need to get back on track! grrrr Effort! Effort!!
Pardon me for my rantings but I don't really give a shit! I don't even feel sorry for it! I don't find anything wrong in being true in expressing ones feelings. Hypocrisy is something which I refuse to follow. I respect that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Go ahead and say what must be said for the world is in dire need of voices which would echo on to eternity.I believe now is the perfect time to start loving myself more for the simple reason that I cannot share what I do not have. Time to wake up and stay sober.. Gotta draw more and more strength from within. It ain't true that your friends are just a phone call away.. you really have to learn to stand on your own. In my case, I'd have to admit that I'm starting from scratch once again... I do feel much much better compared a few weeks ago where I felt really knocked out.. double whammied.. kapowwed!!!!
ciao bene!
No comments:
Post a Comment