A Portrait Of The Real Mae

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Allow me to introduce myself....

I play a lot of roles in this world.

I'm a professional singer, a songwriter

 

a teacher

a team manager

 To some I am a role model,I have a handful of fans but never considered myself as a celebrity, an elder sister, a confidant, a trustworthy friend, a responsible daughter, a passionate lover, a romantique at heart,
an animal lover, an epicurean.

I make time to hone my photography skills,

I love cooking. 

Going on trips. Long bus rides. Experiencing all sorts of new stuff. I find joy in writing my thoughts on paper. I tend to come up with my own ideas rather than wasting time recycling works made by people I never knew.

I find joy in isolating myself as long as I have something to write on. I talk to myself in the form of writing and poetry. So if you are reading this, you are actually talking with the real me.

I rarely keep secrets. My life in an open book. I'm proud of my roots despite the shitty things I've surpassed for they molded me into who I am now.

I wish not to be complicated though some people find me odd. Even my mom thinks I'm odd. Mana mana lang yan~!                                                                                                                                                 I there is something with me and my hands which I photograph from time to time. Random weirdness or maybe awaiting a ring to be given by someone in the future.

Aside from hands, love it when I take half-faced portraits.... I find it very mysterious and very personal!

  I love to laugh! Especially at myself! I don't mind looking silly at times! I find shy people missing out a lot in what life has to offer.
  
                                                                                                                                                                    I enjoy alcohol from time to time. I'm not alcoholic though. I enjoy feeling tipsy!
 

I'm not the type of girl who finds joy in shopping for designer stuff. I do admire "kikays" who express themselves freely but I ain't one. I'm very practical when it comes to fashion. I do like shopping... grocery shopping that is. I can spend an entire day in the grocery! There is something about food and  home that fascinates me. Probably because I ultimately see myself as a homemaker one day. A domestic goddess, a wife.. a mom.

I was never an academic achiever especially in high school. I never considered myself as a highly intelligent person though I know I have a highly developed brain due to my creativity skills.
  


But if I were to describe myself in one word, I would say, I'm an ARTIST! .. and damn proud of it!
 

 

There are also things which I dislike about myself.... and I acknowledge all of them with all humility.
I am often visited by misery  and negativity due to my highly emotional nature. I easily get hurt on the simplest words but is always ready to forgive given the proper apology.

I tend to be highly stubborn with the things and the people I'm not interested with. Some people see me as a snob. I really don't mind.

I tend to be very impatient, patience is something I have yet to learn.

I wish I could be more vocal when I'm angry. I tend to avoid confrontations for I know nothing can ever be solved with anger but I wish sometimes, I could just openly tell people how mad they made me feel.

Wish I could be more neat with my things. God I'm sooo stubborn!

I'm not good with saving money though I don't really overspend. I could never resist a good deal especially if it's something for self improvement.
I also don't mind spending a good meal with a friend whom I love.

Wish I could be more interested in reading books or novels. I'm a visual person..  I have dominant left brain. I tend to get sleepy without seeing pictures.

I tend to be an escapist especially when I'm hurt. I find it hard to accept things and forget the past. I am highly sentimental.

I like inflicting myself with emotional pain... I dunno why but I enjoy it. Perhaps because I believe that the more pain you undergo, the more victory you will reap once you've recovered. Pleasure obtained from suffering.. call me a masochist!

I tend to be so fickle minded!! I hate myself when I am!

I'm too lazy to exercise!!! ahuhuhuu

I hate myself when I'm pessimistic!  I often argue with my inner demons. It just doesn't feel right!

Frustrations? I do have a few more which I wish to venture on in the future....

I wanna learn to act. Formally. To be in a musical is one thing I wanna experience. Years ago, I auditioned for Ms. Saigon. I was praised by Cameron Machintosh but wasn't accepted due to my lack of theater background and ultra short hair. Damn it!

I wanna be a dancer. I used to be in the school dance troupe in my early years. Dunno why I didn't continue when I reached high school. I did join the dance club when I was a freshie however, the senior bitches dominated the club so I was demotivated. I'd like to learn modern jazz if time and money permits.

Plans? Wishes? Dreams? I never run out of them... I dream of them every single day! They inspire me to keep on going

To have my own kitchen complete with 4 burners, a nice marbled counter top, a complete set of good quality knives, a dependable oven, all the herbs within reach, a complete set of teflon pans, glasswares, silverwares and bright colored ceramic and wooden plates. I also want it to have some high chairs so my kids would watch me as I cook their meals. I can't wait to see the look on their faces right after I take out something out of the oven!

A house with a music room. The best thing that ever happened during my childhood perhaps is when my mom gave me the freedom to do whatever I want... I spent most of my time in our music room where I would practice and listen to music. It's also the place where I would dance my worries away for it had a huge mirror covering the whole wall. Looked more like a carpeted dance studio.I'd like my kids to experience the same freedom I enjoyed. I'd like them to grow with art and music as a big part of their lives. I don't mind having kids who will become artists when they grow up I just hope my future hubby won't mind either.


To successfully produce an album of the songs I wrote. Before I retire from singing, this is something I seriously wanna complete. I wanna leave a good legacy to the kids.


A photo studio. Aside from a music room, I also wish to have a separate room exclusively for photography.. for portraits and food photography to be more precise. It'll be like a "lab" as I picture it. The mere thought of it excites me!


Another thing which I desire is to see a portrait which reflects the real me. It's really gonna be a challenge. I do have quite a number of good shots taken from my friends but I'm certain I have yet to see the perfect one!